Top 5 Reasons for Me to Lose That Weight

I know I've had the best excuse for gaining weight, but over the last year I put on about 20 pounds. Then in the last few months, I put on another 10 to make it a nice round 30 pounds (and I do mean round, my waist is only a memory). So now that I'm on my way to getting better, I'm determined to try to lose some weight. Here are my top 5 reasons why, in no particular order:

1. I NOW SNORE LIKE A WARTHOG Prior to this, I might have let out a delicate little piglet snort in my sleep occasionally, but now it's at drunken sailor volume. My husband even said that the other night, he dreamt he was sleeping next to a wild animal and woke up to my snoring. Weight gain can definitely promote snoring and sleep apnea, so the warthog needs to migrate on outta here.

2. I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE ASKING ME, "WHEN ARE YOU DUE?" Yes, I know I look like the right age for my childbearing years, and the majority of the extra weight has settled in my abdomen. But it's to the point where I've started giving strangers a made-up answer ("I'm four months along") because it's easier than seeing their embarrassment when I give the real answer ("Not pregnant, just fat, but thanks for asking") So time for that pseudo baby weight to drop.

3. MORE CLEAVAGE=MORE CLEAVAGE I'm not complaining about going up a cup size in my boobs (and my husband hasn't shared any complaints either) but I draw the line at having a cup size in my back fat. Because I've refused to buy new bras, my back fat gets pushed into back cleavage that is showing way too much in sweater season. Time for the back cleavage to split.

4. IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM, JOIN 'EM My mother has been back on Weight Watchers for about 3 months, which means she is obsessed with "points". Every phone call or in-person meeting is filled with a recitation of how many points each item she has put in her mouth is worth, and incredulous lists of how many points the things she chose to not put in her mouth would have been. Despite my gentle comments meant to discourage such behavior, like "Hey Ma, save it for your Weight Watchers meetings and people who care" or "Mom, a list of points does not a conversation make", she still does it. So why not jump on the WW bandwagon and let her do all the points tracking for me?

5. REALITY BITES Last week I started back to water aerobics, and I got the bright idea to step on the locker room scale. And that's when reality hit: it's not the horizontal stripes that make me look fat, it's not the baggy sweater I grabbed out of my husband's drawer that makes me look fat--IT'S THE EXTRA 30 POUNDS OF FAT THAT MAKES ME LOOK FAT.

So if you've decided to lose weight, what's your inspiration?


Colin Smith said...

I know, it's odd for a guy to comment on weight loss, but about 5 years ago I dropped about 60 pounds in 8 months. I got fed up being the size I was, and my lifestyle (in terms of gluttony and sloth) was neither medically or biblically acceptable. So I drastically altered my eating habits (low carb, smaller portions) to drop the weight, and then started exercising to get a little fitter and more active. Five years later and I'm still the same pant size after losing about 6 inches from my waist. Sure, I could still lose some weight, but I'm a whole lot happier with myself.

I hope this encourages you to do it, Angelica, and stick to it. It's so worth it. :)

Angelica R. Jackson said...

Thanks, Colin, and I don't think it's odd for a guy to comment on weight loss. It seems like when weight issues begin to impact your lifestyle, that's a big wake up call for anyone, male or female.

Peggy Eddleman said...

Such hilarious wording for your reasons! I loved it! Best of luck with it all!

Katy Upperman said...

This post made me laugh out loud. The honesty is inspiring and you have such an expressive way with words: Love it!

I went through the same Get-Fit epiphany in March while my husband was away at Ranger School. I knew he was going to finish in fantastic shape and I did NOT want to be the fat spouse. Since then, I've lost 35 pounds and it's been one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Now I refuse to drink calories, have cut out sugar and most white carbs (sugar-free ice cream is actually GOOD!), and exercise at least an hour a day (I've fallen in love with Jillian Michaels and yoga). It's hard and time consuming and not always fun, but it sure is nice to buy size 2 jeans. Good luck... I'm rooting for you!

(Ironically enough, my word verification for this post is FITion!)

Unknown said...

The Spouse lost a ton of weight for Boot Camp, and now he has more energy AND he no longer suffers from chronic heartburn. To me, it's really all about the long term health benefits.

Angelica R. Jackson said...

Thanks, Peggy, for the comment and encouragement!

I don't think I've ever been a size 2, Katy--even at an underweight state, I was a size 5. But I'm totally okay with being curvy--just want to also be fit.

Athena--I see people in the park doing the fitness boot camp (NOT the real thing) and it looks like even that version would knock you into shape quickly! I'm normally fairly active (water aerobics 3x week, bicycling, walking the rest of the week) so that hypothyroid exhaustion was torture. But it comes down to that I feel so much better when I move!

Angelica R. Jackson said...

I weighed myself today and lost about 2 pounds in a week and a half, so it's good to be back to exercising!

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