Entry for The Writer's Voice: Crow's Rest

So there's this contest called The Writer's Voice being hosted by Brenda Drake, Cupid of Cupid’s Literary Connection, Krista Van Dolzer of Mother. Write. (Repeat.) and Monica B.W. of Love YA where we post the query and first 250 words of a project we'd like to catch an agent's eye. Here's mine!

Query:


Crow’s Rest is a 72,000-word young adult urban fantasy novel with the wry humor of Kiersten White’s Paranormalcy series and the dark fantasy feel of Melissa Marr’s Wicked Lovely series.

Sixteen-year-old Avery arrives for a visit at her Uncle Tam's, eager to rekindle her summertime romance with her crush-next-door, Daniel. Instead, she discovers Daniel's body has been taken over by a corbin, a Fae which usually crosses into our world by inhabiting crows.

The corbin, Lonan, warns her that some of his kin are no longer satisfied with crow bodies. Or even the occasional accommodating human. They want to come here in their natural forms, with their full, terrible powers intact. It’s happened before, leading to the fall of Rome and the Dark Ages, but this time Lonan has been sent to stop them.

In exchange for Avery’s help with his mission, she insists the corbin brings Daniel back, forcing the two boys to share Daniel’s body. Switching between personalities in an uneasy truce. But once she starts to fall for the charming Lonan, Avery realizes that even if they do save the world, only one of the boys will get sole custody of the body—leaving her heartbroken either way.

Meanwhile, she discovers her family’s roots reach deeper into Faerie than she ever imagined, proving crucial to the survival of both worlds.

First 250:

Mom woke me as we hit the outskirts of Crow's Rest. "Brace yourself, Avery Girl." She said this every time we visited Uncle Tam’s, and it still gave me a shiver.

July air streamed through the car window, coating my tongue with heat and iron-rich dust. Nearly there. . . As we took that last curve on the approach, tree branches arched over the road, blocking our view until there it stood.

A castle, its ruddy bricks warmed by the afternoon light. Looming over the Gold-Rush-era town at its feet, the Wilson School of Industry reformed bad boys for nearly a century before the state abandoned it to vandals and ghost hunters.

The usual mass of turkey vultures and ravens soared above, sinisterizing the turrets even more. Makes my shutter finger drool, if that’s even possible. But no need to rummage for my camera—I’ll have the whole summer to take pictures for my portfolio.

As the Castle receded in the side mirror, I asked, "Is Uncle Tam going to be home, or does he have lessons tonight?"

"He made sure to keep tonight open so we could visit."

I looked at Mom sharply, catching the lines on her brow before she smoothed them into a neutral expression. Hmm, I smell bull, and it’s not coming in through the window.

She’d been acting weird all week, taking hushed phone calls out of the room and kissing the top of my head for no reason.

"Is something wrong with Uncle Tam?"



((What happens next in the contest, you might be wondering? The coaches will select 8 team members (plus 1 alternate) by May 10, then spend the next week and a half helping them put a final polish on their entries.

Voting

On May 20, they'll post our team members’ queries and first pages on their blogs so that the agents can review them))

25 comments:

Natalie Thorne said...

Wow! Amazing. Definitely something I want to see more of. Good luck!!!!

Angelica R. Jackson said...

Thanks Natalie! Here's hoping we both make it onto a team!

Marieke said...

I love how eerie that first paragraph is! Good luck here! :)

Alison Miller said...

Wow! This sounds awesome, and I would definitely read more! Best of luck, Angelica!!

Annette T Dodd said...

Sounds like a totally intriguing concept - good luck! :)

Becky Mahoney said...

Good luck Angelica!!

Copernicus Nerdicus said...

This sounds crazy - faes taking over crows and now taking over the body of men? Count me in.

Great pitch, great voice. Wish you luck!

Hannah Scott said...

Sounds great! Best of luck to you. :)

Angelica R. Jackson said...

Thanks for all the comments! I'll try to return the favor tonight--my phone & internet are down & right now I'm lurking outside a Starbucks.

Wendy said...

Great concept. I'd totally read this. Good luck on the competition. I'm starting to get nervous looking at the amazing talent we're up against.

Diana Sousa said...

Interesting concept, and a very mysterious start. Good luck to you!

Amber said...

I love the idea of falling for two boys in the same body. It definitely turns the love triangle trope on its head. This is great!

mysticcooking said...

Great concept! Were you at the north/central SCBWI conference this year? I remember hearing your first line there - great to hear a little more of the story around it.

Angelica R. Jackson said...

Yes, I was there--in my zebra-striped dress! it was hard not to squee aloud when Andrew Harwell used the first line as an example in his workshop.

Kathleen said...

Great premise. Great voice. Good luck!

billypayne said...

This looks like it could be such fun! Great voice. Great images.

johnlucashargis said...

GREAT entry. I love the weaving of a long-existing *thing* with the mention of the Dark Ages & the fall of Rome. Excellent. A love triangle involving only 2 bodies--outstanding. The voice is rich. I love "...abandoned it to vandals and ghost hunters." Paints an eerie picture of the setting without describing specific aspects of the castle. Really, really strong. G'luck!

Anne Tedeton said...

Can I please have this book? It has everything I like. All the things I like. I AM CONSUMED WITH WANT. I really wish I had something less stupid to say, but really. This is fantastic!

Jamie McHenry said...

I enjoy the mystery and the description on this page. You've worked in some subtle details that add to the scene and set the stage for a great story. Good luck with the contest.

Christie Murillo said...

Wow! This looks great! Your query and first 250 really grabbed me. Us faerie writers gotta stick together so I wish you the best of luck (:

mollypintomadigan said...

This looks great! It's something I would definitely pick up off the shelves. Good luck!

Wendy Parris said...

Such strong writing. Good luck!

Leslie S. Rose said...

The fighting for the same body aspect is super cool. Sending you good luck vibes for the contest.

Angelica R. Jackson said...

I apologize for not getting to your comments individually (wasn't feeling great this week) but just wanted to do a group hug for all the great support! I believe I've commented back on everyone's site who commented here, plus some more, but I haven't been able to manage all 150. Whew, don't envy the judges their decisions!

Kris Atkins said...

I love it! Your premise is very intriguing and your first 250 words definitely suck me in. Good luck!

Post a Comment