A Neurotic's New Year's Eve

Having previously offered a glimpse into how my mind works/dreams, I thought I'd offer up what keeps me awake at night. You know, like on New Year's Eve when I got woken at midnight by neighborhood revelers (after not even attempting to stay up past our Long-Married Couple's Customary Bedtime) and then couldn't get back to sleep right away.

Here is what I thought about:

Remember that episode of "Friends" where you have a list of 10 celebrities that you can sleep with if given the opportunity, without it being cheating on your partner? So what if I ever did get the opportunity to sleep with Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman, or Vampire Bill Compton (uh huh, fictional characters totally count) and they're in a relationship?

What if I'm not on their list? Would it be considered stalking behavior or charming behavior if I sent them a tweet right now that says, "I will rock your world, or at least skew it slightly. Add me to your list RIGHT NOW." I'm kind of afraid I'd end up on some kind of banned list instead.

And then I did get back to sleep, only to be woken later by a slithering sensation across my feet--exactly like a giant centipede would feel if it was step-step-stepping across them. I sat bolt upright in bed, to see my bleary-eyed cat stretched full length (he is approx. 3 ft. long in that position) across the foot of the bed, with his front paws over my feet.

Whew, it's just the cat. I can lay back down and go to sleep. But then it occurred to me, what if it really was a giant centipede and the cat's paws were over my feet because he'd sleepily batted at its retreating pincers? And what if the centipede is just waiting for me to drop my guard so it can lay eggs in my belly button?

I tell you, a writer's imagination is truly a blessing and a curse.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahaha...sorry, but this made me laugh. I love how the mind works. Thanks for sharing your middle of the night thoughts.

Still chuckling. :-)

Shayda Bakhshi said...

Lmao.

Also, with the List, I generally operate under the ideology that, "How could anyone not want THIS?"

Angelica R. Jackson said...

I hear you, Shadya, but some celebrities have been with intimidatingly beautiful people: call girls, hot nannies, etc. That's a lot to live up to.

Tracy Z. said...

HAHAHA

I also have one of those minds that never shuts down ... at the most inopportune moments, like bedtime for instance. 8)

F.I.C said...

While you may not be making any celebrities List, at least you might be getting some hot belly-button action from a giant centipede. that's something, right?

Now I'm wondering how useful eggs in the belly-button is. Surely they would all fall out when you stood up or took a shower? Unless the implanted them under the skin, are centipedes capable of that?

Angelica R. Jackson said...

These are particularly quick-hatching, alien centipede eggs--and then the young ones burrow into your abdomen. Okay, I've been watching too much Doctor Who.

Elizabeth Varadan aka Mrs. Seraphina said...

Hi, Angelica, wow you should write Science Fiction along with your many other genres. Thanks for following me, by the way. I see from your bio that we are distant neighbors!

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